ArizonaMama

Monday Morning Cofee with Dr. Sally

Good morning!

Thank you for sharing your wonderful parenting advice! It was exciting to read about so many wonderful ways that you all use to solve problems with children.

During the past two weeks I had the good fortune of being able to go to Europe. I visited many cities in Italy and then ended my trip in Paris. One of my special interests is childhood obesity and how to prevent it. Because of that I observed as many parents with their children as possible. I gave much thought and time and attention to why most European children and their parents do not have this problem.

Here are some of my observations that I hope you can benefit from:

1.       Most children do not eat in their strollers.

2.       Most children spend a minimum amount of time in strollers.

3.       Most children do not eat or drink when walking around or playing.

4.       Most children spend a limited amount of time using computers and/or high-tech toys.

5.       Most children have regular mealtimes and do not eat much or anything in between those times.

6.       Most children eat small appropriate portions during their meals.

Adults model many healthy eating patterns as well. What stands out is that food and drinking is pretty well restricted to planned times and is hardly mixed with other activities. Life in general is much more interpersonal, and people spend a lot more time with one another.

Most of all, returning home brought with it great love for our country and its many resources. I sincerely hope we will conquer our battle with obesity and help our children enjoy life right here… in the United States of America!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

drsally@drsallyparenting.com

www.drsallyparenting.com

Parenting Inventions - Part IV

Good morning moms!

Necessity is the mother of invention

Have you noticed that parenting is not so easy? As a matter of fact, it is downright difficult. It doesn’t seem to matter how many books have been published or how many websites there are, finding solutions to parenting problems is just not that easy.

Having said that, “It is not impossible!”

What problem have you solved that you would like to share that you think could be helpful to new moms?

Here is what one mother told me:

She wanted her baby to learn to recognize shapes. She had several different shape sorter toys, but they all seemed so complicated. She thought recognition would become easy if there was a way to simplify the process.

What to do?

She got the idea to look for simple household objects that might have the basic shapes. 

Here’s what she did:

She started collecting what was available and placed them in separate boxes.

What happened next?

She had four big tubs. The she wrote these labels and put one on each tub – Circle, Square, Rectangle, Triangle. Then as part of her regular daily recycling process, she would add to each tub. Before long she had these playthings for her baby, all separated by shape:

Circle – lids, plastic plates, coasters, plastic cups

Square – napkins, coasters, lids

Triangle- napkins folded in half

Rectangle – placemats, lids

Her baby played and played with each tub and before long became quite proficient at naming the shapes and sorting them.

How about you?*

I invite you to share with other moms any ways that you have successfully solved a problem with your child.

*A major publishing company is looking for these success stories. If you would like to have yours published in an upcoming “parent handbook,” please contact me at drsally@drsallyparenting.com, and I will give you more details.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparening.com

 

Parenting Inventions - Part III

Good morning moms!

Necessity is the mother of invention

Have you noticed that parenting is not so easy? As a matter of fact, it is downright difficult. It doesn’t seem to matter how many books have been published or how many websites there are, finding solutions to parenting problems is just not that easy.

Having said that, “It is not impossible!”

What problem have you solved that you would like to share that you think could be helpful to new moms?

Here is what one mother told me:

She wanted her baby to learn to recognize numbers. She looked at all the number books available and thought they were confusing. She thought that if her baby had a separate number book for each number that the concept would be clearer and easier to learn.

What to do?

She got the idea to make individual number books out of colored file folders.

Here’s what she did:

She took a file folder. Then she put the numeral 1 on the front cover. Then inside was the number word One on the left-hand side and one cotton ball on the right-hand side. What a simple way to make a book, one cover and two pages about the number. The book was durable and was a little more like a toy than a book. Her baby liked to play with this toy-book.

What happened next?

Her baby learned to recognize and be familiar with the number 1. Then she made more number toy-books, and her baby had fun playing and learning the new numbers too. 

How about you?*

I invite you to share with other moms any ways that you have successfully solved a problem with your child.

*A major publishing company is looking for these success stories. If you would like to have yours published in an upcoming “parent handbook,” please contact me at drsally@drsallyparenting.com, and I will give you more details.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Parenting Inventions - Part II

Good morning moms!

Necessity is the mother of invention

Have you noticed that parenting is not so easy? As a matter of fact, it is downright difficult. It doesn’t seem to matter how many books have been published or how many websites there are, finding solutions to parenting problems is just not that easy.

Having said that, “It is not impossible!”

What problem have you solved that you would like to share that you think could be helpful to new moms?

Here is what one mother told me:

She wanted her baby to get a head start on learning the alphabet. She saw other mothers showing their baby pictures of flowers and clowns. She also saw those babies recognizing and becoming familiar with those flowers and those clowns.

Then she tried it with her baby. It worked. Soon her baby recognized flowers and clowns.

What next? She began to wonder if her baby could recognize and become familiar with letters just as easily.  

What to do?

Here is what she did:

She invented (so to speak) letter cards… and they worked!

She took a 4” x 6” index card and wrote in a deep blue color the letter B on it. She laminated the card so that it would be durable. Then she hole-punched it and put a piece of yarn through it so that she could hang it on her baby’s high chair. Both she and her baby had fun playing with this card during feeding time.

What happened? You guessed it! Her baby learned to recognize and be familiar with the letter B. Guess what else happened? You guessed it! She made more letter cards, used them in similar ways, and enjoyed the great head start her baby got for learning the letters of the alphabet.

How about you?*

I invite you to share with other moms any ways that you have successfully solved a problem with your child.

*A major publishing company is looking for these success stories. If you would like to have yours published in an upcoming “parent handbook,” please contact me at drsally@drsallyparenting.com, and I will give you more details.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Parenting Inventions - Part I

Good morning moms!

Necessity is the mother of invention

Have you noticed that parenting is not so easy? As a matter of fact, it is downright difficult. It doesn’t seem to matter how many books have been published or how many websites there are, finding solutions to parenting problems is just not that easy.

Having said that, “It is not impossible!”

What problem have you solved that you would like to share that you think could be helpful to new moms?

Here is what one mother told me:

Her baby kept getting bored with her toys. She kept buying one after the other, and her baby kept getting bored with one after the other. Every time she would be at a friend’s house she would see another baby happily involved with a toy and think, “That’s it! My daughter will love it.” As you can well-imagine she would go to the store with high hopes, buy the toy, give it to her baby, and then watch her baby’s disinterest.

Other times she would be at a friend’s house and see her own baby happily involved with the other baby’s toy. Then she would think, “That’s it for sure! My daughter will love to play with that at home.” As you can well-imagine she would go to the store with even higher hopes, buy the toy, give it to her baby, and then again watch her baby’s disinterest. What to do?

Here is what she did:

She invented (so to speak) the concept of rotating toys… and it worked!

She bought four colored crates from a store like Target. She filled the red one with red toys, the yellow one with yellow toys, the blue one with blue toys, and the green one with green toys. Then she used only one crate of toys at a time. She made a rotation system of red, yellow, blue, and green. Yes, you guessed it! Her baby was no longer bored with her toys. Each time a crate came out; the toys seemed new and different. They held her baby’s interest. Her baby even continued to play with each one in new and different ways.

How about you?*

I invite you to share with other moms any ways that you have successfully solved a problem with your child.

*A major publishing company is looking for these success stories. If you would like to have yours published in an upcoming “parent handbook,” please contact me at drsally@drsallyparenting.com, and I will give you more details.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight....

www.drsallyparenting.com

 

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #11 & #12]

Good morning!

While it is very important to know how to handle poor behavior, it is just as important to know how to foster proper behavior. You will find many tips about both on Mommy Perks at www.mommyperks.com/drsally. Here are two that are especially helpful for decreasing your child’s resistance to your requests.

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #11]

Use the sandwich method for supervision.

Remember this one… you will want to use it as often as you can.

Here you are at one of those times when you want to get your child to do something. You already know that as soon as you ask for what you want, you will meet resistance. Oh no! What to do?

Use the sandwich method of supervision.

* Start off by saying something complimentary and nice like:

“You put your clothes away neatly every day.”

“You always wear great shirts, and they fit well too.”

“You fold your clothes carefully and put them in your drawers.”

* Next ask of your child what is necessary.

“Now it is time to put your clothes out for tomorrow.”

* Then you finish up with something complimentary and nice.

“Once your clothes are out you can finish working on this puzzle.

You don’t have to stop here with this one. Try it with your spouse. Use it with friends. It is great for e-mail etiquette too.

* Say something nice.

* Ask what you want.

*Then finish up with a positive and appreciative thought.

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #12]

Be a part of the solution.

Your child will love this one… and so will you!

Here is another effective way to reduce child resistance. See examples below.

1. Ready to leave the house? How about…

“I’ll put the puzzles away; you do the toys.”

“I’ll hang up the clothes; you fix up the books.”

“I’ll put on the bedspread; you arrange the pillows.”

2. Ready to have dinner? How about…

“I’ll put my work away; you put yours away.”

“I’ll put out the plates; you do the silverware.”

“I’ll put out the glasses; you fold the napkins.”

Sharing is much for fun than ordering, and it really works!

Enjoy!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight...

www.drsallyparenting.com

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #8]

Good morning!

Behavior! Behavior! Behavior! Last week we talked about a great tool for handling misbehavior correctly.

Separate the behavior from the child.

You may not like what your child did, but you love your child.

You now have your ticket to objectivity and your ability to:

·        Evaluate the misbehavior

·        Give a consequence or not

·        Teach about future positive behavior

Here are three more helpful guidelines:

·        Look for the cause of the misbehavior.

·        Listen and communicate.

·        Be positive, warm and supportive.

Please visit www.mommyperks.com/drsally to find out more about all of these.

Now here is more information about being positive, warm and supportive.

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #8]

Be positive, warm and supportive.

Almost every authority on child discipline will advise you the same: "Be positive."

Let's take a look at "positive."

* You separate the misbehavior from your child.

* You understand the cause of the misbehavior.

* You try to eliminate the cause of the misbehavior.

* You talk to your child about the cause to understand the misbehavior even better.

Now you are getting ready to either give a consequence or not. After that comes teaching your child how not to make the same mistake again in the future. To reach that goal, it is just the right time to be "positive, warm, and supportive."

While a punishment or consequence may hurt, guidance for the future should be pleasant. Since proper behavior in the future is the real goal, all your understanding will go a long way. It will set up your child for cooperation and good behavior in the future.

Enjoy!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight...

www.drsallyparenting.com

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #5]

 

Good morning!

Behavior! Behavior! Behavior! Last week we talked about preparing for good behavior.

Set up for success!

Here are three more important preparations:

·        Make expectations clear.

·        Use praise and encouragement appropriately.

·        Be positive, warm, and supportive.

Please visit www.mommyperks.com/drsally to find out more about all of these.

Now here is some advice for handling any misbehavior that you might experience.

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #5]

Separate the behavior from the child.

You will love this!

You may not like what your child did, but you love your child.

Once you make that separation, you will find that you are much better able to handle the misbehavior. If you have set up a consequence ahead of time, you can go ahead and implement that. If a consequence is not necessary, and all you have to do is teach, you can go ahead and do that too.

By carrying out this separation, you are allowing yourself to handle the problem in a much more objective and much less emotional way. You can’t beat that!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #1]

Good morning!

Everyone wants to have well-behaved children. Why not!

Easier said than done? Yes

There are “15 Pillars” of parenting that are geared just for that… to help you help your children behave. Here is “Pillar #1.” From time to time I will share others with you. I hope you will find this information helpful.

Parenting Advice - 15 Pillars [Pillar #1]

Set up for Success

Time to play with this one.

There are quite a few pieces to this puzzle:

1. Before you go into a situation, plan ahead so that you will have everything you need for it to run as smoothly as possible for your child.

2. Before you go into a situation, plan ahead so that what your child is going to experience will be as child-friendly and age-appropriate as possible.

3. As you go through all your current activities, keep learning. When and if something causes your child to have difficult behavior, do your best to handle the behavior. Then turn your problem into good news. Tell yourself, “I can learn from this situation for next time.”

Whatever the problem was can help you plan ahead so that

     * you will have everything you need to help your child behave better in the future.

     * what your child is going to experience will be as child-friendly and appropriate as possible for his/her age and stage.

Pillar #1 is a pillar of preparation. When you have your situations running as smoothly as possible, your child will be as well-behaved as possible. No need to discipline or be reactive when you are pro-active–guiding and supporting your child effectively!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

The Chinese Bamboo

Good morning!

In the Far East the people plant a tree called the Chinese Bamboo. During the first four years they water and fertilize the plant with seemingly little or no results. Then in the fifth year they again apply water and fertilizer, and in five weeks’ time the tree grows ninety feet in height.

                                

        There is an amazing parallel between this particular tree’s growth and child development. Love on a daily basis is often hard to see but its power supports growth in our children every day.

Just as each tree has its own growth pattern, so does each child. Whether the effects show up right away or whether they show up far into the future, all childhood experiences impact their later success in every way. In other words, every second counts.

As you go off to your summer vacation, return from one, or enjoy your children here in AZ, I wish you all as many happy, healthy, and fun moments together as possible. Maria Montessori said it this way, “There is no eraser.”

It is not one more toy, one more book, or one more doll that makes the difference. However, it is one more hug, one more laugh, and one more shared experience that makes all the difference in the world!

A very happy summer to you all!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com